June 19, 2013
Tonight (well, last night actually since it’s 2:30AM as I write this) I had the privilege of being on The Dr. Shirley & Steve show. Now, I feel privileged to share my story on any radio show and appreciate the opportunity to get the word out about all the healing that can be done. But, this show is staying with me more than most and I feel I need to share the insights I’m having with you.
So, here’s the deal. Dr. Shirley is an expert in what she calls Somantic Experiences (she even wrote a book on it). Which in my brain translates to your muscle remembering the emotional trauma and holding onto it long after you think you’ve moved past it. Fascinating stuff. On the show tonight, I learned just how fascinating when I was sitting in the interview talking about the crash like I always do and Dr. Shirley (who asked before hand if she could use her technique on me during the show) gently asks me to tell her about how my body feels as I’m describing the incident. Me, being game for most anything (except spiders, snakes and leaving Burbank if it’s not absolutely necessary J) say sure thinking, no problem, I’m completely over it and fine. When, WHAMO – who’s crying? This girl! On live radio! What the heck?!?! Why is this happening? I’m completely over it. Right? Apparently… not so much.
As we’re talking it through on air, I’m feeling really horrible about the blubbering sounds I’m making and thinking about how uncomfortable the audience must be feeling right now and then it hits me. My body is TOTALLY holding onto the emotional trauma of the crash. And, the most interesting part about it is that as I really sit there and think (at the station and on my way home and for the last couple of hours) two things occur to me. 1.) My back has been randomly (or so I thought randomly) going out pretty frequently over the last year and a half and the way it’s going out is actually not random at all. As I’m going through the exercise with Dr. Shirley on the show, I’m noticing that I’m leaning away from the side I was hit and my body is taking on the same crooked shape it takes on when my back is in the most pain. INTERESTING! 2.) Maybe it going out isn’t random at all either. What I mean is, I’ve been thinking about the times that it goes out and realizing they are when I have been doing a lot of speaking about the crash or writing about the crash. Maybe at these times, my body is subconsciously trying to protect itself from being hit??? There is absolutely no rhyme or reason that my back goes out. I just wake up in the morning and boom. No more straight walking for me for a while.
It’s all just so fascinating. Dr. Shirley is certainly onto something here and I’m excited to find out if her technique can help me further. She is going to work with me and I will write about my experience. Something I walked away from that show thinking is how I really thought after all the therapy I had following the crash, I was finally fine. But, today I realized maybe I need a tune up. Maybe I need to go back to therapy now that there is some distance and perspective and really delve into the idea that I can be even better. I have a lot of confidence in Dr. Shirley. She is just such a cool lady, sweet, caring, nurturing and I think going to be extremely helpful and I’m really looking forward to the work that I can do. Who knows what’s going to happen. All I know is I’m going to try anything because man this back problem is annoying and I have a 50 pound wedding dress I need to wear in 9 months so my back can not be going out for that (hey, whatever motivates you, right?). So, stay tuned, be kind to yourself, listen to the show (in podcast form) because it was really such a neat, insightful experience for me (and the people on the show are AWESOME) and I hope it will be for you and don’t be a hardhead like me and think all is well when apparently it really isn’t. Kidding. All we can do is learn, right?